WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT BULLYING

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a pattern of aggressive behaviour meant to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. Bullies always have more power than victims. Their power comes from physical size, strength, status, and support within the peer group.

There are three types of bullying:

Physical: a person is harmed or their property damaged
Some examples are:

• slapping, hitting, pinching, punching, kicking
• locking in a confined space
• unwelcome touching
• extortion
1. Verbal: a person’s feelings are hurt through insults and name-calling
   Some examples are:
• name-calling
• unwelcome teasing
• taunting
• spreading rumours, gossiping
• racist or homophobic comments
2. Social: a person is shunned or excluded from groups and events.
   Some examples are:
• excluding from a group
• threatening or insulting graffiti
• threatening notes, letters, emails, telephone calls
• threatening words, actions or weapons

Bullying may be obvious or hidden. Children who are being bullied...or are bullying others may:

• complain of being poorly treated
• change their behaviour (for example, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, angry outbursts, being sick in the morning, become more aggressive towards siblings)
• be unwilling to leave the house, change their route to school, or skip school
• come home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises, new clothes or other items, or money not accounted for
• talk about responding to others in a way that may result in the school taking disciplinary action
• start doing poorly in school

The terms harassment and intimidation are sometimes used when referring to bullying situations involving junior and senior high students.Harassment is any behaviour or comment that is hurtful, degrading, humiliating or offensive to another person.Intimidation is the act of causing fear in order to force or influence someone to do, or not to do, something.

Some examples of harassment and intimidation:

• name-calling
• unwelcome teasing
• locking in a confined space
• racist or homophobic slurs
• unwelcome touching
• threatening notes, letters, e-mails
• threatening words, actions or weapons
• taunting
• excluding from a group
• spreading rumours
• threatening or insulting graffiti
• stalking
• extortion

How to Talk About Bullying

Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can: 

·         Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.

·         Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.

·         Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.

·         Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.

Help Kids Understand Bullying

Kids who know what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

·         Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens.

·         Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully. Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away

·         Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.

·         Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help.

·         Watch the short webisodes and discuss them with kids.

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Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Research tells us that children really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Sometimes spending 15 minutes a day talking can reassure kids that they can talk to their parents if they have a problem. Start conversations about daily life and feelings with questions like these:

·         What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things?

·         What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about?

·         What is it like to ride the school bus?

·         What are you good at? What would do you like best about yourself?

Talking about bullying directly is an important step in understanding how the issue might be affecting kids. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but it is important to encourage kids to answer them honestly. Assure kids that they are not alone in addressing any problems that arise. Start conversations about bullying with questions like these:

·         What does “bullying” mean to you?

·         Describe what kids who bully are like. Why do you think people bully?

·         Who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?

·         Have you ever felt scared to go to school because you were afraid of bullying? What ways have you tried to change it?

·         What do you think parents can do to help stop bullying?

·         Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose? Do you think that was bullying? Why or why not?

·         What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?

·         Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? How does it make you feel?

·         Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Get more ideas for talking with children about life and about bullying. If concerns come up, be sure to respond.

There are simple ways that parents and caregivers can keep up-to-date with kids’ lives. 

·         Read class newsletters and school flyers. Talk about them at home.

·         Check the school website

·         Go to school events

·         Greet the bus driver

·         Meet teachers and counselors at “Back to School” night or reach out by email

·         Share phone numbers with other kids’ parents

Teachers and school staff also have a role to play. 

Prevention at School

Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.

Getting Started

Assess school prevention and intervention efforts around student behavior, including substance use and violence. You may be able to build upon them or integrate bullying prevention strategies. Many programs help address the same protective and risk factors that bullying programs do.

Assess Bullying in Your School  

Conduct assessments in your school to determine how often bullying occurs, where it happens, how students and adults intervene, and whether your prevention efforts are working.

Engage Parents and Youth  

It is important for everyone in the community to work together to send a unified message against bullying. Launch an awareness campaign to make the objectives known to the school, parents, and community members. Establish a school safety committee or task force to plan, implement, and evaluate your school's bullying prevention program.

Create Policies and Rules  

Create a mission statement, code of conduct, school-wide rules, and a bullying reporting system. These establish a climate in which bullying is not acceptable. Disseminate and communicate widely.

Build a Safe Environment  

Establish a school culture of acceptance, tolerance and respect. Use staff meetings, assemblies, class and parent meetings, newsletters to families, the school website, and the student handbook to establish a positive climate at school. Reinforce positive social interactions and inclusiveness.

Educate Students and School Staff 

Build bullying prevention material into the curriculum and school activities. Train teachers and staff on the school’s rules and policies. Give them the skills to intervene consistently and appropriately.